In 2021, I left Texas for Upstate New York and realized how much your zip code can shape your chance to be heard.
In Texas, my symptoms were often reduced to my weight, my concerns dismissed without deeper questions. I was seen but not truly heard.
In New York, that changed. Providers looked beyond the scale and took my voice seriously, leading me to the care, and the specialists, who ultimately saved my life.
The Geography of Healthcare: From Texas to New York
| The Texas Experience | The New York Experience |
| The “Weight Wall”: Appointments began and ended with my BMI. Symptoms were viewed as comorbidities of size. | Diagnostic Curiosity: Providers looked past the scale, ordering comprehensive imaging and specialized labs. |
| Limited Access: A culture of “wait and see” that led to years of unresolved fatigue and body aches. | Specialized Care: Access to a Gynecologic Oncologist and an Endocrinologist willing to dig for the “why.” |
| Assumed Outcomes: Dismissal was the baseline; “normal” blood work was a reason to stop investigating. | Active Listening: Recognition that “normal” labs don’t always mean a “healthy” patient. |
A Chronological Map from Dismissal to Discovery:
Act I: The Invisible Warnings
The Referal Loop (2021-2023)
- Fatigue, body aches, brain fog and hitting the ‘normal labs’ wall
- The discovery of the 6mm ovarian cyst and the many referrals that eventually led to Rochester
The Diagnosis without a doctor (2023-2025)
- The 15 month fertility clinic waitlist
- The OBGYN who “doesn’t deal with PCOS
Act II: The Clarity Amidst The Fog
ADHD & The First Year Back (2025)
- Reframing Executive function through late-adult diagnosis
- “The semester that gave me brain Damage
Act III: The Craniotomy & Survival
The Emergency & The MyChart Discovery (Jan 2026)
- Driving myself to the ER; finding the brain bleed
- The pituitary discovery: Everything finally made sense!
Act IV: The Path Forward
The Red Herring Update (March 2026)
- The thorough Endocrinologist who didn’t have the answer
- Learning that the pituitary abnormality was just another red herring
Finding a Partner in Care (April 2026)
- The new OBGYN who actually listens
- Current Plan: PCOS & Perimenopause management
The Expert in The Room
Doctors hold the degrees, but you hold the data. A medical chart is just a skeleton; your lived experience is the flesh and blood that makes the story whole. Never stop being your own lead investigator.